To Color or Not to Color

Picture taken yesterday

This trip has forced me to make a decision of tremendous gravity:  what should I do about my hair?

Picture taken the day we arrived

A few days ago, I wrote about my ability to tan that I inherited from my father and his father before him.  Another trait that I inherited from these men, but which I'm not so thrilled about, has to do not with skin color but with hair color.  Both men started going gray on the sides of their head in their late 40's, while the hair on top of their heads stayed brown.  It took the next 150-20 years for the rest of their heads to catch up.  The result was what I termed the "sidewall effect."

Grandpa in his 50's

I started down this path in my 40s'.  For a while, I tried self-coloring my hair.  This was ten years ago, and I had a vested interest in looking younger than I was:  I had gone back to law school for a year - where I felt, comparatively speaking like I was 103 - and had started at my former firm in Salt Lake, where I felt like the world's oldest associate.

About the time I came out, the stylist who cut my hair suggested a product which would "blend the gray."  I decided to try it, and as events unfolded with the end of my marriage and my continuing process of coming out, I decided to keep receiving "conditioning treatments," as my stylist and I euphemistically termed them.  My desire to look younger became even strong once I met Mark.

Over time, I have become more secure in my relationship with Mark, and he has gently reassured me that he loves me just as much with grey hair as with (pseudo-) brown hair.  However, I wasn't sure whether I could handle me with my natural hair color.

On the other hand, I have felt for some time that I'm tired of hiding behind hair color.  I have spent so much of my life hiding various aspects of who I am that I want to call an end to all forms of such concealment.

I have come face to face with this issue since arriving in Maui.  Even though I had a "treatment" just before leaving, the sun and salt water quickly diluted its effect.  Then, on top of that, my hair started growing lighter in the sun, just as it did when I was a child.

So, I think I've reached the Rubicon, not that my decision will be irreversible.  But I think the time has come to just be me, just the way I am.

In other news, Mark and I went to the little town of Makawao yesterday during our noon break.  It's located "upcountry" on the east side of Maui.  Just a quaint little place with shops.  

I found a cool t-shirt and another Christmas ornament.  The latter was made from a gourd from a design by an artist in Lahaina.