The Greatest Battle

A view out over the Salt Lake Valley from 4500 South and Wasatch Boulevard

I don’t remember exactly what it was Mark said on our ride yesterday as we stopped for a water break (for me).  Something about cycling and suffering, something about how one cannot cycle unless one has the capacity for suffering.  It was said in the context of preparations for our Corsica trip, and he once again assured me that, following our training this summer, the Corsica rides would be a piece of cake.

It’s this summer that I’m concerned about.  I felt some anxiety before yesterday’s ride.  I wondered if I could do this one.  Sure, I had three rides under my belt.  The last one had gone well.  But who knew what yesterday’s ride would hold in store for my psyche and my body.

There was some fear:  fear of failure, fear of not being able to perform, fear of unknown challenges.  I had to swallow that anxiety, that fear, and learn to trust in myself.  And if I didn’t perform, if it became too difficult, so what (so I told myself).

I faced that same fear at the bottom of every hill.  I’d look at it and think:  How the hell am I going to make it to the top of that hill.  But then I’d start peddling and try as much as possible to look at the ground directly in front of me instead of how far I yet had to go before I could crest the hill and find relief from the pain in my legs and the shortness of breath.

And there was leg pain yesterday.  As we climbed our last rise before leveling out around 4500 South on Wasatch Boulevard, I felt the beginnings of a cramp in my right quad – a new sensation for me.  Thankfully, it subsided.

I'm going to look for a better map, but in the meantime, this one
gives a bit of an idea of our route.  We ride up to Wasatch Boulevard,
which skirts the base of the mountains, past the mouth of Big
Cottonwood Canyon (Brighton, Solitude), then on to or past the
mouth of Little Cottonwood Canyon.

There was also wind yesterday.  A south wind as we headed south. We commented on it, grateful that it would be at our backs on the way home.  But during the course of the ride, the winds shifted.  By the time we started our northward trek, the winds were out of the west.  Then, by the time we passed the mouth of Big Cottonwood Canyon, they were out of the northwest.  This presented an additional challenge which made ascending the hills even more daunting.

This is the beginning of my journey into a sport that is going to challenge me as has no other.  Running a marathon was one thing, but this is different.  (Plus I was ten years younger when I ran two marathons in 2002.)  Cycling is going to present both mental and physical tests.  

I as prepare for and face these tests, I plan to look in several places for inspiration.  There’s Mark, of course, who is immensely supportive, patient and reassuring.  But I also plan to do some reading, starting with a book Mark recommended by Lance Armstrong entitled, It’s Not About the Bike.

Meanwhile, I ran across an essay online that provided encouragement.  It reads in part:

"The history of cycle racing abounds with stories of endurance, will power and sheer courage on an epic scale. The capacity of bike riders to drive themselves relentlessly day after day through the pain barrier and way beyond makes them a breed apart … 

"The greatest battle is not physical but psychological. The demons telling us to give up when we push ourselves to the limit can never be silenced for good. They must always be answered by the quiet the steady dignity that simply refuses to give in. Call no man brave, say the Spanish, say only that on a particular day he showed himself brave. Such strength of character radiates from every bike rider who has shown the requisite courage not to yield, has won his dignity, day after day. 

"The true test of any rider’s mettle is the road. How much punishment can you take on a bike? You will only find out after you hear the voice in your head saying no, no you’ve had it, any more of this battering and you’re going to weaken fatally, and yet, for some reason best left to God and guesswork, carrying on anyway …"

“To get up each morning with the resolve to be happy 

is to set our own conditions to the events of each day. 

To do this is to condition circumstances 

instead of being conditioned by them.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson