A Boy and His Father

We first noticed them on Monday afternoon, then again yesterday afternoon.  A boy of about three years and his father, both naked on the beach, playing down by the water.  It made for a charming scene, and as Mark and I commented to each other about it, he suggested I write a post about how my children might have “turned out” differently had I done with them what this father was doing with his son.

As I have thought about this challenge over the past few days, I ultimately decided to turn the question around and write about this father and his son, imagining how their lives are and may be different because of what we had witnessed.

I imagine, first of all, that this boy will grow up with a very healthy image of his own body as well as a very healthy attitude toward the human body in general.  He will learn – and in fact already has – that there is nothing innately “dirty” about the human body.  He will not learn to sexualize the body by hearing that it is something that must be hidden from view lest his or others’ passions be inflamed.

I say that he already learned this lesson because, on Monday afternoon, I walked up to them, totally naked, to tell the father that I have children and that I thought what he was doing with his son is a great thing.  They boy, Lucas, 3-1/2, didn’t even bat an eye at my presence.  He certainly didn’t stare or start giggling.  Frankly, he was happy to ignore me except to gleefully tell me how old he is.  He was also ignoring all the other naked people on the beach, including a number of naked women.  (The father told me his wife hadn’t worked up enough courage to come with them onto Little Beach.)

I think Lucas will also grow up with a very healthy image of his own body.  Raised this way, he will be comfortable in his own skin and not feel he has to depend on adornment in improve how he looks.

Lucas will also presumably grow up with an independent mind and spirit that is not afraid to break convention.  He will also know that his father will not seek to bind him with convention.  Lucas will presumably learn to question authority, requiring it to justify itself instead of merely accepting it – or even worse, cowering before it.

When I read a draft of this post to Mark yesterday afternoon, he also pointed out something he had read recently in A Course in Miracles, something that is also reflected in Eckhart Tolle’s teachings.  The ego, Mark said, tries to make you believe you are your body, rather than the spirit essence that inhabits your body.  Lucas, Mark continued, will – directly or indirectly – be taught that who he is, is not his body; he will learn to look past his body to his real essence.