Sunday, November 1, 2015

The Landscape of Cancer: Where We're At

It's probably time for an update on Mark's health. We had some scary moments on our six-week European odyssey, but we made it. Mark made it. We had a wonderful time, and I have already looked back on various memories from the trip and smiled, knowing that every dollar spent for that time together was so worth it. Buying cheese. Seeing the Dolomites. Eating dinner at sunset along a beautiful Venetian canal. Having dinner with friends in Rome. Day-tripping among the islands off the coast of Dubrovnik. Sunset the last night of our cruise. Standing on a wind-swept moor looking at Stonehenge. Getting high in our apartment in Amsterdam, giggling like school girls. Standing at the summit of the highest mountain in Germany. Snuggling in our cabin on a rainy day while on our river cruise.

Every. Moment.

Since returning home, Mark has continued to experience increasing pain and fatigue. He has good days and bad days. He relies more on medications than he used to. Things are changing. We have entered new scenery in the landscape of cancer. We are adjusting to the surroundings, but this feels different than previous adjustments. 

There is much I could say, but it feels too personal and too amorphous to share or articulate. More than ever, I am confronted with the stark reality that lies ahead. Together and separately, we will feel our way through this, thinking new thoughts, experiencing new emotions, confronting new challenges, deepening our love for each other. 

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